A Beautiful Mess: Our Fertility Journey Story

Happy Friday lovelies!

It has been a while since we’ve talked but it’s for good reasons. As some of you may know… we’re pregnant!!  We just found out that we are expecting a boy and we couldn’t be more excited to welcome him into our little family. You guys have been with me for a good while now and I feel the need to share our journey with you. Please keep in mind that I will be touching on a subject that is very personal to my husband and myself and with his complete permission and encouragement, I’ll be sharing it with you.  Our hope in sharing our journey is to hopefully help other couples avoid the mistakes we made and hopefully get to their results quicker.  I also want to be realistic and say 99% of the journey for us was relying on our faith.

The beginning

 My husband and I knew we didn’t want kids right away.  We talked and prayed about it and decided that we want to have kids after three years.  We started trying on January 1, 2015 and after about six months we were kind of weirded out as to why we weren’t getting pregnant.  I personally thought that I was already going to be pregnant literally like the day after (oh the naiveté).  I didn’t have any reason to think otherwise because we were young, fit, and healthy; I knew I had some fibroids but my doctor had told me that they weren’t too worrisome. We made our way to our physician and found out that my fibroids had grown, OK no worries, we can shrink them because they weren’t that big to be thinking surgery. I went on a healthy kick for three months and did all of the natural remedies to shrink fibroids while trying and still, nothing. September of that year, we found out that not only were my fibroids getting bigger but they had found that Paul’s anterior pituitary gland, which controls sperm production was a little bigger than anticipated hence the reason it would be challenge to conceive naturally.

 The problems

Oh the joy! We were referred to a fertility clinic which then referred us to a urologist for my husband’s gland issue.  The urologist was very optimistic and he said the gland can shrink with a medication called Clomid. Once it shrinks, it would then be able to send the signals to make the proper amount of sperm. Great! Let’s do that!

While my husband was on Clomid (3 months), I was told that I actually had 4 fibroids, based on an MRI and they were not in my uterus (thankfully) but they were blocking the sperm’s access to my uterus.  Based on their findings, I’d had to have surgery.  Again, great! I had a myomectomy in December 2015, where they took out 15 fibroids.

Ummmm where were they hiding?!

 After my surgery, we went in for another sperm analysis which didn’t fare out so well because they found out that the true issue was that my husband had varicoceles. So many questions…what happened to the swollen gland? Why was he taking clomid for three months?  Why didn’t we find out about varicoceles sooner?  Long story short, he needed to have surgery ASAP.  Thankfully, the varicoceles surgery is an outpatient surgery so he didn’t need to be out for a long period of time like the myomectomy.  He was able to go back to work the next day. While all this is going on, I’m still recovering not only from my fibroid surgery but also from a blood infection I got from the surgery.

When it rains it pours…

Now that we were both cured of our setbacks we can get back to making babies…not so fast.  I was feeling some pain in my abdomen, I went to check in with my surgeon and found out I had adhesions from the myomectomy.  No worries… it’s a 15 minute outpatient surgery and you’ll be back on your feet and healed in no time…

After all the major and minor surgeries, it was summer and again we were ready to get back in the saddle. We had a couple of setbacks with some trips that were planned and unbeknownst to us we couldn’t go to these areas if we’re trying to have a baby …so more setbacks.

All the while we were trying still and nothing was happening.  We decided to look into intrauterine inseminations (IUI).  We had our first unsuccessful IUI in September 2016 and my mom fell ill.  We had our second unsuccessful IUI in October 2016. My mother had surgery and recovering in a nursing home.  One Saturday morning in October, my husband looked at me and said one of the gifts that I would love to give your mom is to be able to hold her grandchild why don’t we just go for IVF…

My heart dropped.

 The journey

The following Monday morning I called my fertility doctor, who by the way, is God sent.  She started explaining to me what IVF entailed and I got even more scared.  She started going over the cost and I felt like I was going to pass out.  As she’s talking to me, I logged onto my insurance’s website and I read members get $25,000 for IVF procedures and $10,000 for IVF medications.  I stopped her midsentence as she was going on about cost and said my insurance at work covers it at 90%.  Pause. Her response “oh…you guys can come by Friday for a consultation’.

We went in for the consultation and I became optimistic.  I knew we wanted a child but to know that my husband was thoughtful enough to think of my mother in this process was all the motivation I needed to go through with this procedure.  After two weeks of birth control we started our IVF journey on November 15.  The daily poking, the prodding, the incessant daily doctor visit and monitoring, being so bloated with injections that you start convincing yourself you’re pregnant and not being able to travel to his family’s Thanksgiving down in Florida was tough. They started out monitoring about nine eggs altogether in my ovaries, after my egg retrieval on November 27, I ended up with 4 viable eggs.

 You mean to tell me I’ve been poking myself for two whole weeks only to end up with four eggs with the potential for them to diminish even more? Disappointment is an understatement.  Monday morning I got a call from my doctor, bright and early, who told me only three out of the 4 eggs survived and are now fertilized.  She started encouraging me in the word, telling me to pray for those fertilized eggs because they’re my babies.  After five days we’d find out how many of the 3 eggs  survived and made it to the blastocyst stage. No pressure.  Friday was transfer day and also the day we find out how many of those embryos survived …if any.

Friday morning rolls around as I’m getting ready my husband received a call from the fertility clinic, my heart dropped.  It was our doctor telling us that all three of our embryos had made it and they were all top grade. Ahhhhhh! I screamed.  We hopped and skipped on over for the transfer.

Our lives changed forever on December 2.

God has been soooo faithful and he continues to be. We never knew this was the direction our lives would take when we were naive twenty somethings getting married. God has proven himself in the midst of all of it.

 Lessons

A couple of lessons that I would like for you guys to take away.

Trust in God ALWAYS, all ways. Don’t compare your journey to anyone else’s, this goes for whatever the journey might be.

IVF is  a very costly procedure, thus, if you’re going to do it make sure you and your partner are in the right state of mind and that you’re ready emotionally, physically, mentally and financially.

Don’t ever ever ever ask anyone about the state of their uterus, kids, marriage or anything so personal because you never know what somebody might be going through and what state of mind they might be in. For me, some people in my community thought we didn’t have kids because I didn’t want to mess up my ‘svelte body’. Ha!

Don’t EVER congratulate anyone that didn’t come out to tell you that they’re pregnant.  Chances are that person is nervous, scared and that person has heard so many pregnancy horror stories. They most likely want to make sure that all is right with them and their baby before they make any announcement to anyone, no matter how close you thought they were to you.  If you do find out from great sources i.e. family, keep your mouth shut. Rejoice with them in your heart.

 I have many more lessons that I’d like you guys to take away but I’ll stop right there as this post is already too long. If you have any questions about anything that I’ve talked about here please feel free to let me know and I’ll be more than happy to have a chat!

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Comments

  • Wowww!!! God is Truly Great and There is no other like Him!!!! Your story truly touched me! I can’t stop tearing up and Praising Him for how Great He is for you guys! That was a lot but Gen yon Rezon Bondye fe-l konsa!!!! That was a Great Testimony. Thank you Jesus for proving you are Lord from time and time again. I Love you both!!! God Bless

  • That’s such a powerful story. You and your husband are very brave, blessed, generous … Thank you for sharing this beautiful journey. I pray that God continues to bless you abundantly. May this be just the beginning of a healthy, prosperous family life together.

    • Thank you for visiting, reading & your feedback. I find that bravery is a very simple act that can help an array of people, so I wouldn’t call us brave, I’d say we’re blessed to be able to share and have sooo many people relate. That, in itself, is priceless.

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